I Can't Let You Go
by SlytherinFTW
Summary: Set directly after Born Under A Bad Sign. Sam's being...well, Sam. And Dean has had enough of it.


Dean glanced over at Sam, who was lying on the motel bed gazing at the ceiling for the past hour. He'd been more subdued than normal, which was fair enough, the whole ordeal that Sam had gone through had probably shaken him.

"Sam. You okay?"

Sam looked over at Dean. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"No you're not."

"Then why did you ask if you're so sure I'm not okay? I'm okay, Dean." Sam sighed and looked back up to the ceiling. Dean shook his head.

"Sam, I know for starters that you're not okay, and also, that you're probably gonna mope for the next few weeks about this. Just let it out. It's like a band-aid, get it over and done with quickly."

Sam sighed again. "It's not that simple, Dean. You wouldn't understand, anyway."

"Try me."

"It's just...I killed that guy, Dean! I could've killed Jo! And I was _there_, I was _seeing_ it as I did it, and I had no control over it! And...and you said, you _promised_ that if I ended up going evil, you'd kill me, like what Dad said you should! And you didn't!"

Dean sighed and rubbed his hand across his forehead. "Sam, we've already been over this. _It wasn't you._ It's not your fault. And I'm not going to kill you. If there's a chance I can save you, then I will do all I can, and then some, to save you."

Sam got up from the bed and faced his brother. "Dean, what if I end up killing more people! What if you can't save me! What then?!"

"That's not gonna happen, Sam." Dean said determinedly.

"You just don't want to kill me. That's what it is, isn't it? You're too afraid. You'd much rather me turn evil and become a killer than kill me and be alone." Dean looked at Sam, not saying anything. The silence spoke a thousand words. Sam's gaze softened as realisation dawned on him. "You really don't want to be alone."

Dean ignored the last comment. "Sam, if the situation was reversed, and you had to kill me, what would _you_ do?"

"I'd try to save you."

"Exactly. Now that we have that understanding, are you going to stop moping about it?" Dean really didn't like where this conversation was going.

"Dean...why are you so determined to save me, anyway?"

"Uh, I thought it'd be pretty obvious. You're my brother. It's my job to keep you safe, Sam."

"I think it's something more than just that, Dean."

Dean sighed. "Can we just drop the subject? I'm tired. I want to be able to catch some z's before we get out of here."

"No, Dean, I'm not going to drop it. You're the one who wanted to know what was bugging me! Well, there you go!"

"Sam--"

"No, don't make excuses, Dean! Something's bugging you; I can tell. You're not the only one who cares about their brother."

"Sam, drop it." Dean pushed his way past Sam, trying to get to the bathroom. But Sam got in Dean's way. "Sam..." Dean warned.

"Dean, spit it out. What's wrong? You got out of me what was wrong; now it's your turn."

"Sam, no matter what you say or do, I'm not going to cave. It's not important, anyway. So just don't worry about it."

"Dean, you should know by now that I'm not going to back down. I'm just going to keep bugging you about it. It's like a band-aid, get it over and done with quickly."

"Don't give me that, Sam. It's nothing, really."

"No, Dean. I want to know what's wrong. Believe it or not, I do care about you. I have as much right to know what's bugging you as you have the right to know what's bugging me."

"Sam, for the last time, would you drop it?"

"No. Why are you refusing to accept the fact that you might have to kill me? If you don't tell me, I'm just going to start speculating and form my own ideas about it."

Dean finally gave in. He was too tired, too sore, to care any more.

"Sam, I...I can't bring myself to kill you...I...I can't be alone..._I love you_." Dean said, whispering the last part, half hoping Sam hadn't heard it.

"You love me? As in as a brother, or more?"

Dean looked at his shoes. He couldn't bear to look at Sam after that admission.

"Dean?" Sam asked quietly. The tone of his voice made Dean look up. Sam was a few feet in front of him, giving Dean a small smile. "It's okay, really, it is." Sam drew closer and the next thing Dean knew, Sam was kissing him.

Dean moaned as the kiss grew deeper, tongues entangling and before they knew it, they were naked and spread out on the bed. Sam was lying under Dean, eyes dark and gleaming.

Dean's mouth latched onto Sam's neck, and he sucked and bit, until it was certain that a mark was going to be there for the next week or so. All the while, Sam writhed and moaned, trying to get Dean to go _lower_.

Dean finally got the message and made his way down to Sam' s nipples, worrying them with his teeth for a while and continued his way down.

"Dean...stop...teasing...fuck!" Sam ground out, as Dean dipped his tongue into Sam's navel. Dean looked up and grinned at Sam, getting an eyeroll in return. Dean then gave Sam what he wanted; he licked the underside of Sam's cock, eliciting a groan from Sam.

Sam cried out when he felt Dean's finger's pushing against his hole, a slight burn as the first finger slid in. Soon he was practically fucking himself on Dean's fingers, and made a noise of protest when Dean pulled them out. But soon after Sam felt Dean's cock pressing against him. Dean slowly made his way in, whispering dirty words into Sam's ear.

He stayed as still as possible for the first few moments, then Sam started working his hips and Dean joined in.

They began a steady rhythm, gradually getting faster, their breathing becoming noisier. Sam was gripping Dean's hips, hard, hard enough to bruise, and Dean swooped down and kissed Sam.

Their thrusting became faster and even more frantic as they came closer to coming. Dean shifted his angle slightly and on the next thrust in hit Sam right _there_, Sam crying out. A few more strokes and Sam was coming, covering both himself and Dean. Feeling Sam's muscles clamping down around him, Dean came soon after.

Sweaty and panting, Dean pulled out, then got up to grab a towel from the bathroom and cleaned them off, tossing it in the general direction of the bathroom afterwards. He settled down on the bed, Sam resting his head on Dean's chest.

Their breathing slowly became normal, and sleep was next on the agenda.

"Sam?"

"Hmmm?" Sam asked sleepily.

"No more emo shit from you any more, okay? Coz the tortured soul looking out the rain-drenched window really isn't you."

Sam laughed. "Okay, just as long as from now on you don't keep things all bottled up inside. Don't be afraid to talk to me."

"You're such a girl, Sam."

"I love you too, Dean." Sam kissed Dean and settled down, draping an arm over Dean's chest, Dean's arm automatically wrapping around Sam protectively. They soon after fell asleep.


End file.
